i went crazy. i went to the hospital and had to be sedated. i am on zoloft and lorazepam. I have to go see a psychiatrist. and I'm glad it happened... 'cause now i can start to get fixed. I don't know what is wrong with me besides having post partum depression and anxiety... but i can't cope with whatever is going on in my brain. I feel like i'm being attacked. I'm praying all the time and reading my bible. and i don't want that to be just because i'm going crazy. it's a good motivator though. I have to believe that God will deliver me from my illness because He is good and He's got the whole world in his hands. I need to be around for my girls. I have to survive. there is no other alternative. everytime i ask for help i feel a little bit better. like i'm breaking down the walls that i've built for so long. privacy walls... mostly for protection. i gotta just give that up 'cause it's not worth it. I need help and I have to not be SO prideful as to not ask for it. I need help. so help me. if you read this blog... pray for me. i need it. i can't do it on my own.